The Coleslaw Song

The Coleslaw Song

Slaw slaw slaw!

Slaw slaw slaw!

Pitch it in the cornflakes

Fuck it at the foie gras.

Slaw slaw slaw!

Slaw slaw slaw!

Tamper it in the turtle soup

Hork it in the ham

Slaw slaw slaw!

Slaw slaw slaw!

Bucket it on the brickwork

Eat it with a pitchfork

Slaw!

(guitar)

Slaw!

(drums)

SLAW! (+guitar+drums)

Adagietto

The fourth movement is arguably Mahler's most famous single piece of music, and is the most frequently performed extract from Mahler's works. It is best known for its use in the 1971 Luchino Visconti film Death in Venice. However it was frequently performed on its own before then, chiefly because in the early 20th century music programmers did not believe whole Mahler symphonies would be acceptable to audiences. Indeed, the British premiere of the entire Fifth Symphony came thirty-six years after the Adagietto itself had been introduced, by Henry Wood at a Proms concert in 1909.

It lasts for approximately ten minutes, and Mahler adds the instruction sehr langsam (very slowly). This has led to some conductors taking the movement well over its normal duration, in some cases over eleven minutes (11'13" as performed in a recording by Leonard Bernstein). However in recent years the trend moved away from extreme tempi, notably 9'33" in the inaugural recording from Simon Rattle as the chief conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra.

The Adagietto was also performed at the mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral, New York on 8 June 1968, the day of the burial of Robert Kennedy.

The LA Sound

Strong work

Ye Breadcrumbe Traile

Howdy pardner

A big Study Your Math Howya! to Rob Curran, joining us today from Jersey City, NJ. Welcome to the internet's equivalent of hospital radio, Rob... GET SICK EVERYWHERE. But first, read the interview with Daz and Kurupt of the Dogg Poound Gang, excerpt below.

"Clockwork folly"

I hereby coin the phrase "clockwork folly". "Modern Irish politics has become a clockwork folly in our national memory garden." "The transformation of Irish football from clockwork folly to full-blown madhouse." "In the clockwork folly of British justice."

Dwarf Night at Chequers

You know the General Election? Decided on General Election Night?

Hoax.

Power goes to whichever leader catches the midget on Dwarf Night. At 11.59 the Queen releases the dwarf from the Wendy House. The dwarf is chased around the ballroom by "whips" until it reaches top speed. At this time, the rival party-leaders are admitted through French windows. They must battle footmen and journalists to gain the heart of the ballroom floor, and lay chase to the sprinting midget. Power is usually wriggling in the hands of one or other leader by 12.00.

Kevin Shields is not from Deansgrange

smash and grab at a potato shop. miraculous medal found near scene. guinness fart held.

And this -- "non-factual"

By contrast, Marty Ruleton, a secondary alias, though he hails from the same period of history, is also American, and does not go hatless, inhabits an entirely different milieu, and his mien and acumen are opposed to those of Ruleman. Marty is a gadabout, playboy, a jolly cad, a dilettante. He drinks highballs, he plays tennis, he doesn't read, not even accounts, he is wealthy and has a patina of education thanks to pater's bestowal of fat endowments on three eminent institutions. He brays. He is licentious. But, for all these failings, he is excellent company and "gets away with it". Oh Marteeee, people are inclined to say, as the butler reports another Duesenberg totalled or introduces to the company the latest tearful Mixie or Roxie, what have you done now? They are delighted by his flagrancy. Marty Ruleton does not time-travel, but lives only in his period and now.

Wikipedia pulled this, the motherfuckers

Milton "the Knowledge" Ruleman is the creation and, at time of writing, primary alias of Cardinal Rule, aka Cardinal John Rule, aka Cardinal Yule, aka Rule 3000, aka Weed, aka Marty Ruleton, aka the White Frank White, aka the White Jesus, aka Rule McCool, aka Ireland. Each other alias, similarly, is the creation of Milton Ruleman and the other aliases except itself. Milton Ruleman is a white "hip-hop" (or "wigga") accountant and financier from the 1930s, siphoned through time using overlapping rhyme cycles (the fifth-dimensional step parallel staircase) by the Wu-Tang Clan in the early 1990s to oversee the group's chaotic accounts. Ruleman formerly, presently, and in the future works for Meyer Lansky and Vito Genovese. Amongst other employers at other times, he also works for the rapper Notorious B.I.G and the Irish heroes na Fianna, and has written a critical study of the poetry of John Ashbery entitled "Wangles and Wrangles", which is available only as an Excel spreadsheet connected to the online OED, Google tools and beta projects, the stock markets, all newspapers and a database supported by the World Bank, the Illuminati and all non-Illuminato invitees to Davos, and so on and so forth, and which re-evaluates the truths and plays of Ashbery's work for the immediately present paradigm as, at time of writing, a six digit number.

Takin' it real easy

Mork! Is that you?

Exidor is a fictional character on the television sitcom Mork & Mindy, played by Robert Donner.

Exidor appeared as a recurring character in all 4 seasons of the show. He typically dressed in garments that resembled ancient Greco-Roman style. He believed that he was from another planet and possessed superpowers, although it seems clear from the context of the show that he was a schizophrenic whom Mork thought to be a fellow alien (and a very wise man). His signature phrase was "Mork! Is that you?" which would be spoken even when Mork was standing right in front of him because his view was 'blocked' by his invisible friends. He would often appear shouting "Don't push! We can't all get through the door at the same time".

Mid-way through Season 2, Exidor got married to a meter-maid called Ambrosia who "chalked him" while he was lying in the street tending to his burro. Somewhere during Season 2 or 3 he split with Ambrosia as he is quoted saying "Ever since my wife left me..." at the end of Season 3 in the episode "Reflections and Regrets".

During Season 4 Exidor entered into a business venture with Mork; "The Exidor Boutique", a shop which you entered via a firemen's pole, had no visible exit and sold items relating to Exidor (Exidor prophet robes, Exidor wigs, Exidor portraits etc.).

[Wikipedia]

94

Why are the blues so at home there?

Added value

Shangri FACKIN' La, mate

"On the principle of matching arms, the non-pedant marks the pedant's inconsistencies, aporiae or casuistries. Pedantry challenged begets only pedantry, as Onan begat daemon sheep. The stiff sheet and addled pate deride measurement and calm as the windracked sea mocks glass and in turn smoothness, line, order, and farther yet, measurement itself. Transfixed fabric and maelstroms of mind and ocean are of one conversation. They are opposed by the other elements. We speak of hue and pallor, breath and death, hearth and moor, cackle and sense, as locking parts in an otherworldly mint that torques frail conception with the riches of the cosmos. The asymptote is a truer variant. Elements tend towards null. Without this, the truest plenum of Life, whose grace I will not harm by name, would ail. So engage not the pedantry -- identify the pedant not -- but know thy own sight."

When Afrika Bambaataa heard Kraftwerk, he thought:

MF Dome, Hoecakes

MF DOOM – Hoe Cakes


History fans will recognise Dome's reference to the Afros' "Hoecakes for my hoes".

Important news

Dun dog reports a visit to the UK from the queen of bombing - 26 June at the Royal Albert Hall

My new song, 'Moon Over Jordan', is about the unrequited love of a lad from the 1920s for the glamour model, Jordan

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, the Lost Episode (full theater release Labor Day weekend '09)

It’s college offers time in sunny Bel-Air. In the kitchen of the Banks family home we find Carlton smugly opening his envelope from Yale to discover… SHOCK! – a rejection slip. He goes into a massive funk, which isn't relieved by Jazz telling how Yale rejected him too but it’s cool, he's got an interview at Wendy's next week!

Yale’s famous literary critic Harold Bloom visits Bel-Air Prep to give a lecture on Shakespeare.
Carlton sees lecture as an opportunity to impress H. Bloom and thereby win admittance to the college. Crazily, Harold Bloom ignores Carlton’s toadying and takes a shine to the Fresh Prince, mistaking his street talk for literary wisdom* and deciding he's Yale material. This hilariously redoubles Carlton's woe. Jeffrey suggests Cornell.

Sub-plot re. Uncle Phil eye surgery. Remarks from Will as re. Uncle Phil’s weight and good luck that it wasn’t mouth surgery. Asinine questions from Jazz re. effects of blindness eg. "super-hearing". Uncle Phil highly irritated. Ashley smuggles boy into house but Uncle Phil smells boy out, removes him. Also "smells" Hillary trying to get credit card out of his wallet. Bandaged eyes subject of weird public sex talk between Phil and Aunt Viv, to general disgust. Jeffrey fruitily alludes to Jeffrey's sex life, implying all manner of bandaged high jinks. Horrified shivers all round.

(Laugh track.)

Fancy party at school to honour Harold Bloom, misguidedly attended by Carlton in last-ditch attempt at acceptance by the great man, which embarrassingly fails (Falstaff not a lacrosse manoeuvre). Fresh Prince overhears a fellow candidate make unkind comment re. Carlton's ignorance, stands up for his cousin. Ensuing fight results in FP's disinvitation to Yale by appalled Hal Bloom.

Carlton all moved thanks Will, wince-inducingly. Will is casual: "No problem, you're my cousin, man… and anyway, Jazz got us interviews at Wendy's!" Enter Jazzy Jeff in Wendy's uniform with bag of burgers for his friends. Carlton aghast but, lesson learnt, starts laughing, as does everyone. Jazz, non-plussed: "Whut? It's cheeseburgers and they damn good too!"

(Laugh track)

Will, Carlton and Jazz split in good cheer.

Final scene: Hillary all over Harold Bloom, playing with her hair: "I've just always just hated Harvard.... tell me more about this Hamlet guy” (giggles coquetteishly). Bloom: "There's plenty of time for all that when you're at Yale, my dear. Now... tell me more about Hillary!"

Credit bloopers:

Fresh Prince teaching Harold Bloom how to moonwalk, both mugging to camera.

(pause)

Blind Uncle Phil mistaking a (moonwalking) Harold Bloom for Jazz, Harold Bloom being thrown out front door a la Jazz.

(pause)

Bloom showing Will and Jazz a library. Jazz being thrown out library's front door.

(final credit)

(bonus blooper)

Uncle Phil, de-bandaged, sighted and free to indulge in fast food again, entering a Wendy's. Uncle Phil being thrown out front door of Wendy's.

Cut to satisfied looking Jazz dusting off palms... suddenly wincing and clutching his back.

THE END.

* Fresh Prince: “Shakespeare’s the bomb”. Bloom reads this as pure phrasing of his own feelings about bard’s cultural explosiveness - subject of his lecture at Bel-Air Prep throughout which FP has been chatting up a hot girl, telling her she's "the bomb".

Late but real

Plus de Math

Math

Is this really SO crazy?

Going... to Duff... Gardens... hurRAYee

If you don't know your past, then you don't know the living present

ore than a week after their private feud was made painfully public, the rapper 50 Cent and his former protégé the Game called a truce yesterday afternoon at a charity event in Harlem....


Trent Small, 14, a student at Intermediate School 275 in Harlem, offered this advice to the artists: "Make another song together," he urged, "and make that money."

Feast your ears, lavish your eyes

Hood shit

VoL all day, fools.

Sawsta for Cawsca

Everybody have a real cool Cawsca and get that chocolate!

How to act at a rap Q&A

A while back I went to see Ghostface do a PA at a record shop a Londres. First question from the audience: "Yo Ghost, how many pairs of Wallies would you say you have?"

WACKNESS!

The question is always "Uh, tell me who you got in your crew wit' you."

COOLNESS!

Dangerous Russia: Fools and Bad Roads

Although they seem a godless lot, many Russians subscribe to an old religious fatalism. How else—in this well-educated nation—to explain the universal scorn for seatbelts, the epidemic of poisonings during every mushroom-picking season or the amazing number of winter fishermen who die each year after falling through the ice? (More than 400, some drunk, were rescued from a floating slab off Sakhalin last month; some refused to go.)

Economist, yesterday

Ultimate Force, Croke Park

Are you watching, are you watching, are you watching Graham Henry?

Donald Trump on Donald Trump

"You saw the amount of press? It was beyond belief. You check me on the internet I guess, do you? What - does your machine explode?"

Respect heat holders